Days Like Masquerades
by Shannon McFarland
Summary: Is it okay to change everything about yourself to be cool? Is it okay to ruin someone else's relationship in order to build your own?
1. the ugly duckling

"Genevieve Rachel Caulfield, sit still!" Jennifer shouts, yanking at my strawberry blonde hair. "There is no way I can fix your hair if you keep fidgeting."

I stand up and pull the clips out of my hair. "Jennifer, it was nice of you to try and help me and all, but this really isn't my thing--"

"Nonsense," she replies, waving her hand. "You know, Gen, you have pretty hair, you just need to dry it correctly."

What did she mean by that? I look at myself in Jennifer's large vanity mirror, the lights glaring at my face. I can see every little freckle on my cheekbones. "It looks fine," I say defensively.

"No, Gen. It's not the type of hair a Jennifer has."

"But I'm not a Jennifer." I wipe the lip gloss off with the tissues on the vanity. "Look, it's really sweet of you to help me and all, but--"

"Look." Jennifer flips her blonde hair over her shoulder and points a finger at my chest. "Your mom told me you had trouble making friends back in Washington, so I'm trying to help you, okay?" She touches up her eyeliner. "Palm Woods isn't anything like what you're used to, so suck it up." Jennifer picks up a pair of tweasers.

The other Jennifers look disgusted when my cousin, blonde Jennifer, drags me over to them. The other two Jennifers lower their sunglasses, eyebrows raised. "Who's that?" brunette Jennifer asks.

"This is my cousin, Genevieve," blonde Jennifer answers, sighing. "I know, she's a hot mess, but we can fix that; she just needs a good run to the mall."

I glare at her. "What's wrong with the clothes I'm wearing now?" I look at my dark jeans and t-shirt.

"First of all, that shirt is so not cool," one of them says, making a face. "I mean, why would you want a shirt that says 'Jack's Mannequin' on it? It doesn't even make sense!"

As I open my mouth blonde Jennifer sticks out her arm. "Look, we're going to go to the mall right now to get you some new, fashion-forward clothes," she says, her posse grouping around her. Brunette Jennifer smirks while curly-haired Jennifer doesn't bother to look at me.

At the mall, we enter a store with obnoxiously loud music. The Jennifers shove me into a dressing room and throw mounds of clothes over the door, showering me in shirts, skirts, and dresses. I mix and match, not sure what I'm doing. I found myself asking, "Is this what a Jennifer would wear?" I step outside with each outfit, receiving nods of approval or shakes of disappointment.

After a while, the Jennifers do some shopping of their own, and I sit down with all their bags, so far only twenty five, excluding my own. I tug off the ones around my neck. "Newest member's always the packmule," curly-haired Jennifer states, handing another five bags to me as they come out of Express.

Back at Palm Woods, the Jennifers grab all their bags and leave me with my seven. "See you tomorrow, in your new clothes," blonde Jennifer says, smiling. I wave goodbye to the girls and try to slip into the apartment unnoticed, but Mom sits in the living room, tapping her foot.

"So, how'd it go, Gen?" she asks.

I purse my lips.

"Oh, c'mon, Gen. I moved here to give you a shot at your dreams," she says, trying to help me with my crazy number of clothes. When blonde Jennifer meant "new wardrobe", she really meant it.

"I never said I wanted this," I reply, throwing the bags onto the sofa. "I never said I wanted to change myself to have people like me."

Mom pats my back. "Sweetheart, changing a little isn't a bad thing; I'm sure if you and Jennifer become closer, you two'll be really good friends. I don't think that's a bad thing at all." She smiles the kind of smile you wish you could put on when you're unsure about what you're betting your money on.

"Thanks for the advice, Mom," I say, grabbing the seven bags and lugging them into my room.

Yeah, really helpful, Mom.


	2. liar, liar

Mom thinks I look cute in my new clothes, but I feel so awkward wearing a dress that I put on jeans under them. Blonde Jennifer swings by the apartment to pick me up, but she immediately points to my acid-washed jeans.

"Take those off." She throws a pair of stilettos at me. "Put those on. Skate shoes aren't cool anymore."

I look at my beaten-up Vans, the ones I've had since I was a freshman. The faded, electric-blue "V" has grass stains on it from when I used to take long walks in the Washington woods. "But they're my favorite shoes," I say, frowning. "I don't like how you're trying to change who I am."

"Oh, Gen, it's just a pair of shoes. I've been meaning to throw them away anyway," Mom says, grinning at blonde Jennifer.

I glare at both of them and slam my door shut.

I pull off the jeans and squeeze my feet into blonde Jennifer's size six stilettos. I feel like one of the ugly sisters from Cinderella trying to put on the glass slipper. I step out, and blonde Jennifer looks relieved. "I'm glad you're not arguing anymore. It's such a pain when people don't listen," she says airily, grabbing my wrist. "We'll see you later, Aunt Lauretta!"

Mom can't wait to see me out the door.

The other Jennifers wait in the lobby, wearing swim suits under their clothes. "We're tanning today," curly-haired Jennifer says, handing me a big bottle of SPF 60. "You're really pale, so you might want that."

"But I don't tan--" I start.

"Well, you'll start," brunette Jennifer replies, strutting towards the pool. "Now, c'mon; my skin isn't going to tan under the chandelier lights."

Blonde Jennifer drapes an arm around my shoulders. "Stop acting like such a loser, Genevieve. Hold your head up; your posture is terrible." I really can't wait to punch her.

Four guys stand up as we head towards some empty chairs. "Hello there, ladies," a guy with skater hair says, brunette Jennifer rolling her eyes. "Looks like you've got a fourth member in your group."

"This is Genevieve Caulfield, an honorary Jennifer," blonde Jennifer replies, waving her hand at them. Her perfectly-manicured nails glint in the sunlight. "Genevieve, these are the Big Time Losers."

"Some think I'm related to Holden Caulfield," I joke, but the Jennifers give me blank stares. "You know, the main character from the novel Catcher in the Rye." I'm guessing none of the Jennifer have read an important literary work in their lives, but one of the four guys chuckles.

"Genevieve, I'm Kendall," the one with blondish hair says, sticking out a hand. Blonde Jennifer grabs my wrist and pulls me away, glowering at me.

"'Holden Caulfield'?" she repeats harshly. "Oh my goodness, Genevieve! Who reads anymore!"

Curly-haired Jennifer smirks. "You see, this is why you didn't have that many friends in Washington. You've got to get with the times, girl."

I narrow my eyes.

The Jennifers lie down on their stomachs, dozing off in the warm LA heat. I wrap my copy of The Catcher in the Rye inside my towel and pull out my iPod. Blonde Jennifer says something to me, but I only see her lips move. I nod, pretending to understand what she said.

* * *

At night, I sneak off to the poolside to get a bit of reading done. I sit down and pull out my copy of Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk. "So, what're you doing here all alone?" I look up to see one of the guys from earlier. "Shouldn't you be with the Jennifers?"

I shrug. "Blonde Jennifer's my cousin; she's helping me get...acquainted." Obviously, her methods of helping me out weren't working well; I just felt like the life-sized Barbie her parents never bought her. "Where are your friends?"

"They're upstairs fighting over the remote." He sighs, sitting down next to me. "You don't mind if I...?"

"Go ahead."

He sit down and leans back in the chair, looking up at the stairs. He sighs. "You know, you're not really like them." He laughs. "You're actually nice. And you're not dressed the way you were earlier."

"Thanks. I think." Blonde Jennifer would kill me if she saw what I was wearing; I reverted back to wearing my old Vans and my Jack's Mannequin t-shirt. "I feel like my mom just wants me to be part of the 'in-crowd' because I've never really..." I cheeks turn red.

"Never really what?" he asks, sitting up. The aquamarine tint from the pool reflects on his face. I'm surprised he's still listening to my rambling.

"I don't know. I guess I've always been considered a loser or something."

"I don't think you're a loser." He grins. "You're so much more than those Jennifers. You shouldn't let them control you."

I shake my head. "You don't understand."

"Well, if you explain it to me, maybe I can." He sticks out a hand. "By the way, I'm Kendall."

"Genevieve." We shake hands.

"You should be your own person, not what blonde Jennifer tells you to be," Kendall says.

"It's not that easy." I can't believe my mom is encouraging blonde Jennifer's behavior; what kind of parent tells you to change the roots of your personality in order to better fit a clique?

Oh, wait. _My_ mom.

"Hey, don't be so hard on yourself," he says, patting my shoulder. "You've just gotta stick up for the things you believe in, like yourself."

"You should be a motivational speaker." We laugh, and the other three sprint to the pool.

"There you are, Kendall!" the guy with the helmet exclaims. "We were looking all over for you!"

The guy with chestnut skater hair gives me a wink. "Hey there," he says, flipping his hair. I roll my eyes. "Wow, the Jennifers are really rubbing their attitude on you," the guy grumbles.

"Guys, this is Genevieve. She's cool." Kendall smiles. "Genevieve, this is Logan, Carlos, and James."

"Nice to meet you all," I greet shyly. I've never been good with speaking to the opposite sex. I guess that's a downside to attending an all-girls school for at least half your life.

"Why don't you come hang out with us?" Kendall asks as we all cram into the elevator.

"There'll be food," says Carlos.

I shake my head. "I can't. I told my mom I was stopping by blonde Jennifer's so we could paint our nails together."

"Just tell her you're going to stay over for dinner," James replies.

"I can't lie to my mom!"

"You already did," Logan points out.

I make a face.

"It won't hurt if you stop by, even for a little bit," Kendall says. "And we promise it'll be fun. More fun than hanging out with the Jennifers."

"So, what'll it be?" James asks.

"Fine." I look at them. "But can any of you guys paint nails?"

Kendall grins. "That's what moms are for."


	3. that stupid thing called love

I blow on my electric blue nails all the way back home to the apartment. Mom swings the door open when I knock, a grimace on her face. "I thought you'd be out longer," she says. "Did you eat dinner?"

"Yeah."

Mom goes back to the TV and surfs the basic channels. I shut my door and sit at the desk, burying my face into my arms. I look up and grimace at the mirror decorated with singers. I don't know what I want; I moved out here with my mom because she thought maybe, she could find a man with a talented son (or daughter) and get married again.

She doesn't believe in my talent; she just doesn't want me to be a loser. Mom's not sure I have any talent.

I'm not even sure if I have any talent.

Selena, the Jennifers' manager, looks me up and down and waves a hand. "We need to make you look like the others," Selena says, shoving me into a room. A man with green eyeliner in his hand pushes me into a chair. The Jennifers hold my arms down.

"What is going on!?" I shout as someone yanks my hair.

"You need to look presentable," Curly-haired Jennifer says.

"We're going into a photo shoot," Blonde Jennifer says as the makeup artist coats my face in foundation.

Within minutes, the makeup artist is done, and my face doesn't look the same. My hair has a shine that I'd never seen, my skin flawless. He smudges lip gloss on me and fixes the eyeliner.

The Jennifers drag me out of the makeup room and into the dressing room. A man and woman toss clothes towards us, and we slip them on. By the time we're rushed out in front of a camera, I have no idea what I'm wearing.

The lights flash, and I see stars. I look into away from the camera as the girls smile into it. I can feel the expression on my face growing colder and colder. The Jennifers look like the sort of girl you want to be: beautiful, dainty, popular.

And then there's me.

The photographer shows us the pictures, and for the most part, my face is hardly visible. "Don't they look great?" he asks, the Jennifers nodding vigorously. I clamp my mouth shut and smile.

* * *

Camille and a girl with wheat-colored hair hang out in the lobby, the Jennifers throwing their bags at me. "Carry them up to the apartment," Brunette Jennifer says, tossing the keys at me. I stomp into the elevator, Camille and the other girl right behind.

"You're just going to let them treat you like that?" Camille asks, shocked. Her cheer leading outfit is slightly wrinkled.

"You should stick up for yourself!" the other girl says.

"Just leave me alone. I can take care of this myself." I step out of the elevator and look for the Jennifers' apartment. I open the door and throw their stuff on the couch. I sprint out and shut the door.

"Gen, this is Jo," Camille introduces, and we shake hands. Jo gives me a weary smile. "She and Kendall have a thing going on."

I raise my eyebrows. You know, for some reason, things never work out right. I think Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk said it best: The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person. When I first read that line, I thought it was a joke. I think after reading that book two years ago, I've been slapped in the face with this news about five times.

It's not the kind of news you want to hear, but it's the kind of news you need to hear.

"Oh, Camille," Jo says, blushing. "There's nothing really going on between us."

Camille grins. "Whatever you say, girl." She looks at me. "So, who's your favorite out of all of them?" she asks, batting her eyelashes. Her expression changes into an intense glare. "Don't say Logan. He's mine."

I shrug. "I don't know."

Of course I know.

The Jennifers step out of the elevator and snarl at Camille and Jo. "Gen, we're going to tan. Change into your bikini," Curly-haired Jennifer commands. "Meet us downstairs."

"Why do you keep attracting trash?" Brunette Jennifer asks, crinkling her nose.

"I'll see you later," I say as Jo restrains Camille. I go to my own apartment and change into my royal blue swimsuit, taking a magazine to hide my book in. At the pool, the Jennifers are already sprawled out, relaxing. I join them, slathering SPF 60 all over my pale skin.

I know, it's stupid to even think that love could exist when you're in high school, but there are always those few couples that stay together. Look at Andrew McMahon and his high school sweetheart, Kelly. William Beckett and Christine Bandy. I don't feel like I'm asking for much; I just want to find someone who cares about me and has the same interests as I do. I don't want just anyone.

Is it too much to ask to find that guy who sees beyond your face and your chest? Is it too much to ask for a guy who, I don't know...loves you? For once, I want to be Andrew and Kelly. William and Christine. I don't want to end up like my mom, drinking too many martinis alone at the sports bar. I don't want to end up like my dad, losing custody of the kid he loved so much.

I turn to Blonde Jennifer. "Are you interested in any guys?" I ask, realizing the mistake I just made.

"Of course I am, Genevieve. I'm a girl," she replies, rolling her sapphire eyes. She lowers her sunglasses. "I have my heart set on Zac Efron." Blonde Jennifer pushes her glasses back up. "Do you have your heart set on any guys, Genevieve?"

Of course she'd ask me. The whole idea revolving around asking a question just so you can talk about your feelings toward the subject. It wasn't intentional, and I doubt she'd listen to my answer anyway.

"Yeah, I have my heart set on someone," I say, lying on my back. I flip open All the Pretty Horses by Cormac McCarthy and skim the page to see where I left off.

"Oh? Spill the beans, girl," Blonde Jennifer encourages, a smile spreading across her face.

"Oh, you probably don't know who he is."

She flips her sunglasses onto her head. She gives me a sly smirk. "Try me," she says.

"His name is Dorian Gray," I reply nonchalantly, ignoring Blonde Jennifer's gasp. She reaches for my shoulder.

"I've heard of him...somewhere. Is he gorgeous?"

"Oh, very."

I try not to laugh.


	4. the unwritten rule

I tell Mom that I'm going out to dinner with the Jennifers, but I really go out with James, Carlos, Logan, Kendall, and Jo to the ice skating rink. Katie comes along, making a face at Kendall and Jo.

As I lace up the skates, Katie turns to me. "Did you know Jo lied to them?" she asks, hands on her hips. "She pretended to have a boyfriend in front of all the guys, and now she likes Kendall? I don't get it!"

"Me neither," I reply, sighing. Kendall and Jo are skating close, even though he told me a couple days ago that they have nothing in common. Carlos, James, and Logan sigh.

"Totally unfair!"

"This sucks!"

James sighs. "She's so hot." I clear my throat, and the three of them jump. "I mean, you're pretty too, Gen, it's just..." James looks at the ground. "You'll always feel something for the first crush you had, you know?"

Maybe I don't know. Maybe it's been a while since I've actually liked someone. Maybe I don't remember what it feels like to have a crush on someone.

The music slows down and the lights dim, and James reaches for my hand. "Let's show them how it's done!" he shouts, glaring at Kendall and Jo. He tugs me along as the red lights shine down on us. Kendall and Jo skate past us easily while James struggles to help me stand on ice.

"C'mon, girl! Put some thigh muscle into it!" Katie shouts from the sidelines. My face turns red. The other couples skating on the ice rink snicker as James holds my waist and scoots me along.

"I'm really sorry, James," I apologize as he sticks out a hand for the third time to help me up. "This must be really annoying to you."

"It's okay. Not everyone's good at skating," he replies, pulling me up and pushing me forward again. Kendall and Jo take a break and wave to us from the bleachers. Katie, Carlos, and Logan zoom past me.

"You need to teach me how to do this some time," I say, gripping the wall to climb out of the rink.

James winks. "I think I can arrange that."

* * *

It's ten P.M and I'm sitting near the pool, watching the aquamarine water lap against the concrete pool. I kick my feet lazily, the hem of my dress floating up and drifting down with each movement. Footsteps approach the pool chair.

"Hey," Kendall says softly. "Mind if I join you?"

I shrug.

He sits down and sighs. "Jo and I have nothing in common." The small waves crash onto the concrete and splash at my fingers.

"Are you listening to me?" he asks.

"Yeah."

Kendall leans back in the chair and stares at the stars. "I really thought I had a chance with her. I really thought we could go somewhere."

I run my fingers through my strawberry blonde hair, the pool water slicking my bangs back. "Why did you like her in the first place?"

He raises his eyebrows.

"Well?"

Kendall looks at me.

"Didn't you have a reason?"

"...I thought she was beautiful." He shakes his head, gripping his blond hair. "God, I feel so stupid!"

I really want to shout that he should feel stupid, but I feel that'd be a little too dramatic, even for Camille's standards. It seems like a bad time to tell him the truth. "We all make mistakes," I reply, standing up and putting a hand on his shoulder. "Besides, isn't this against any friendship code?"

"...What do you mean?" He looks up at me, his jade eyes wide.

"It's unfair for you to date her when your best friends like her too." It's always been that unwritten rule; you steer away from someone you and a friend mutually like. It's common courtesy. Or, at least, I would think so.

"I guess you're right."

How about I am right?

"You and James seemed really close tonight," Kendall says, grinning sadly. "Do you like him?"

"I don't know." James is a cute guy, but he's a bit too feminine for my taste. I don't want a guy taking more time to get ready than I do.

He nods. "He's a great guy."

"Easy for you to say. He's your friend."

Kendall looks at me. "He's your friend too."

The next morning, the Jennifers and I are lounging by the pool, soaking up more sun. I think I'm five shades darker than I was a week ago. Through my sunglasses, I see a pale girl with dark hair dressed in tight track pants and a teal hoodie. Camille trails behind her.

_My name is Kandi, and I don't play games_

_I like to rap, and I'm scared of planes_

_I'm not a dork, a loser, a fool, or a bum_

_But I like to dance, to sing, and to drum._"

Kandi flashes a smile at the guys, and Brunette Jennifer laughs. "We have enough female rap artists as it is. And a white one? Really? I'm surprised that people even like Ke$ha," she scoffs. Blonde and Curly-haired Jennifer high-five her.

Logan's the first to shake Kandi's hand, and Camille glares at her. I start to get up, but Blonde Jennifer pulls me back down. "We'll wait for her to come to us," she says, flipping through the new issue of [i]Vogue[/i]. "I'm busy right now."

"Me too," the others reply, leaning back in their chairs.

I feel the need to break from this charade, watching Kendall talk to Kandi. I feel a tinge of jealousy as they all laugh together, even Camille. I wish I could hang out with them. I wish I didn't have to tan all the time.

But then again, I love the attention everyone gives me now. I didn't blend into the background anymore. I'm not so much a wallflower as I was before.

I may not be finding myself, but other people are finding me. And I'm enjoying it.


	5. dancing and dropping

Selena waltzes into the studio, checking her face in her makeup mirror. She looks up at us. "Girls, I have some...interesting news," she announces, making a face. She smears on some blood red lipstick and pretends to kiss the mirror in her hand. "Gustavo and I are teaming up to write a song."

I raise my eyebrows, but the Jennifers give each other worried looks. "What does that mean for us?" Blonde Jennifer asks. "I mean, we're not going to...you know, be singing harmonies only, are we?"

"Girls, you don't have a choice. You'll be singing for Big Time Rush's new album," Selena replies. "Gustavo and I have started on it, and it doesn't sound too horrible." You can tell Selena has a way with words. "C'mon, girls. We're taking a field trip down to Rocque Records."

The Jennifers groan.

The guys pull me into a group hug. "When we heard we'd be singing with the Jennifers, we were psyched we'd actually hear you sing for the first time!" James exclaims, still holding me after everyone else let go. I could feel my rib cage snap. "We can't wait to hear you in the booth!"

Gustavo stands in the doorway and snaps his fingers. "Dogs!" he shouts. "Pick a dance partner!" Immediately, Carlos and Logan pick Brunette and Curly-haired Jennifer, respectively. The Jennifers scowl at me.

Kendall puts out a hand. "Gen, will you be my partner?" he asks.

James steps in front of me. "Can't you see she's obviously taken?"

"Oh? By who?" Kendall asks coolly.

"By me!" James shouts back.

"I didn't hear you ask her--"

"Oh, there you go with your technicalities--"

"You're acting like such a baby--"

Blonde Jennifer clears her throat, but neither Kendall nor James hears her. They continue to bicker until I put my index finger and thumb into my mouth and let out a shrill whistle. They turn to me.

"Pick a number from one to ten," I say.

"Two."

"Seven."

"Eight was my number. James wins," I say, and James does a victory dance while Blonde Jennifer grabs Kendall's arm. Gustavo comes back into the room with Selena and a man in a black leotard.

"Three hours of dance rehearsal start now. Don't fail me, girls," Selena says, looking at me. The man in the leotard prances to the front of the room. "This is Leonce, your dance instructor. Good luck." Selena and Gustavor walk out, side by side. I expect Selena to shove Gustavo out of the way, but she doesn't.

"Let's get started," Leonce says in a Southern drawl.

The boys learn how to toss a girl into the air and swing her around. It's weird to swing dance; nowadays, everyone just kind of grinds against each other. James drops me for the fourth time, and Leonce scowls as James apologizes profusely. The Jennifers laugh.

By our first break, James has dropped me around nine times. I lost count after the first five. Logan, Carlos, and Kendall tease him about dropping me, and James turns red, telling them to shut up.

"It's not a big deal," I say, patting James' shoulder. "You'll get better at it."

He gives me a weak smile.

Back at the Palm Woods, I swing my legs in the pool, watching the ripples form and disappear. "Hey," someone greets behind me. Jo takes off her flip flops and slips her feet into the pool. "So...what's up?"

I shrug.

"You know, you're really quiet," she says.

"Does that bother you?"

"No! No, just an observation." She sighs. "So, anything new with the guys?"

"You mean Kendall."

"Well..." I look at her. "Yeah," Jo admits. "He doesn't want to date anymore because we don't have much in common. And some stupid 'friendship code'," she mutters, crinkling her nose. "I wonder who told him that, because whoever did is an idiot."

I stay silent.

"Anyway, I heard that James dropped you a lot today when you guys were learning a new dance move," she says, trying to smile.

"Yeah."

"Did it hurt?"

"Yeah. I've got a couple bruises, but they'll heal up. James shouldn't feel too bad about it; it's hard."

"But don't you think it's funny that the most muscular out of all four of the guys that has to pick up the smallest girl out of the four Jennifers keeps dropping her?" Jo asks, raising an eyebrow. I furrow my brow. "Just a thought, Gen."

"People make mistakes."

"People don't make the same mistake seventeen times," she replies, reaching for her flip flops. "I'll see you later."

He dropped me seventeen times? I can't believe it. And Jo was right; people don't make the same mistake seventeen times...but I wonder why James kept dropping me today.

And I hope James doesn't keep dropping me tomorrow.


	6. congratulations

"A little too heavy, Gen?" Blonde Jennifer asks as James extends a hand to me. James mutters apologies over and over, frowning. "Better lay off those cheese puffs." She laughs until Kendall drops her. She scowls at him as he shrugs his shoulders.

"Sorry," he replies, flippantly. "It was an accident."

We rehearse for hours and hours, harmonizing and dancing. It feels like forever until Gustavo and Selena waltz into the dance studio with grim expressions. "Time to go," they say in unison. You can tell they've spent way too much time together.

In front of Griffin, we dance our best, and surprisingly, James doesn't drop me. Kelly applauds loudly until she realizes that no one is clapping with her. Selena and Gustavo stare at Griffin who has a blank look on his face. The boys' faces turn from smiles to frowns.

"Maybe you two should collaborate more often." Griffin smiles. "Then we would get more hits." He gives us the thumbs up, and we all hug each other. Even the Jennifers include me in their group hug. I smile, because I finally feel like I belong to something.

"Let's go celebrate!" Carlos shouts. "To the Palm Woods!"

We all gather in the guys' apartment, dancing to loud techno music. Within minutes, Camille and Jo join us. "Congrats on your new song!" they shout over the blasting music. Camille spots Logan talking to Kandi and stomps away, steaming.

"Uh oh. Looks like we've got a bit of drama on our hands," Jo says, biting her lip. "I'll see you later, Gen." Jo runs toward Kandi and Logan as Camille throws a tantrum.

Someone taps me on the shoulder. "Hey, Kendall," I say.

Kendall extends a hand. "Shall we dance?"

Katie pays the deejay a dollar to switch songs. I raise an eyebrow. The dance music cuts into a slow song, and Kendall places his hands around my waist. "What did you think of our new song?"

"I think it's great. I thought you were great." It sounds like I'm suffering from swoon syndrome. I wince inwardly.

"I thought you were great too." He grins. "You should've picked me as your partner instead of James."

I laugh. "Well, next time, you should pick the right number."

All of a sudden, James shoulders Kendall out of the way. "Hey," he says softly, pressing me against his chest. "I feel like I haven't seen you in so long."

"It's been twenty minutes, James." Kendall scowls at him, standing next to me. "And I was dancing with Gen first. You danced with her the entire day."

"What's wrong with that?" James asks, glaring.

I slip into the crowd and see Camille sitting on the couch, alone. "Are you okay?" I ask, frowning. Logan and Kandi are still talking to each other.

She shrugs. "Is rejection supposed to hurt this much?" she asks quietly.

"Camille, there are plenty of fish in the sea."

"But I want that fish!" she wails. "It's not fair!" 

"I'm sorry, Camille. You'll find someone better than Logan. You'll find someone who shares your interests," I reply. I see James and Kendall pressing through the crowd towards Camille and me.

"Hey, guys," Camille greets, defeated.

"Seems like everyone's getting disappointed," Kendall mutters.

"What do you mean 'everyone's getting disappointed'?" I ask, furrowing my brow. It's not like it's my fault Kendall and Jo had nothing in common. Besides, three disappointed people does not equal everyone.

"Well, no one's really happy either," James replies.

"We were all pretty happy a couple minutes ago." I stand up. "I think we need to bring that happiness back. We're here to celebrate what we accomplished, not what we failed to do. So let's party!" Kendall, James, and I lead the way with Camille trailing behind us.

We dance in the middle of the living room, and everything else seems to fade away. It's great to know that we've accomplished something today, and we're celebrating this accomplishment. Kendall and James' quarreling disappears, and they're back to being friends again. Even Camille forgets about Logan, even if it's for a little bit.

[i]Pop Tiger[/i] decides to have an interview with me, because I'm the newest Jennifer. Or, at least, that's what I assume. "So, Gen, what's it like?" the woman in the crimson pantsuit asks, talking into her tape recorder. "What's it like to move from Washington to LA and become part of one of the most popular girl groups in the modern music world?"

I furrow my brow. Are the Jennifers really that popular? I had no idea people loved them so much until now. "It's intimidating. There's a lot of intense singing and dance sessions, and it's a struggle to keep up. Especially the dancing-I'm not a dancer."

"...What's your sort of hobby, then?"

"I love listening to new music and writing song lyrics. I also love reading." I just made myself sound like a boring stick-in-the-mud. If I were a guy, girls would be all over me.

"...Alright. You have a very interesting sense of style. Everyone's fascinated that you're trying to bring back old trends, like the peasant shirt, moccasins, and headbands." I look down at my checkered pants. The Jennifers would be ashamed. "What attributes to your style?"

"I've been listening to a lot of psychedelic music recently, and I guess my style goes with that."

"What do you think you've added to the Jennifers?"

"Um..." I don't know. Is this meant to be a deep question? "I guess I'm really different from them-I'm not one of those girls with designer handbags and sunglasses. I guess I'm just a piece of reality to the Jennifers."

"...Well, thank you, Gen," the woman says, smiling. "You were great! This interview will be in the next issue of [i]Pop Tiger[/i]." We shake hands, and she waltzes out of the studio.


	7. I quit

Curly-haired Jennifer throws the new issue of [i]Pop Tiger[/i] at me. "What were you thinking, wearing checkered pants to an interview?" she asks, glaring at me. "Have you no sense of style?"

"They called you a little bohemian, a little rocker," says Brunette Jennifer. "That is [b]not[/b] our style, and it definitely shouldn't be yours."

"We're supposed to look homogeneous, Gen. You're not supposed to stick out like a sore, poorly-dressed thumb," Blonde Jennifer says.

I look at the page, and the interview isn't exactly as I thought it would be. Some of my words are twisted around or deleted all together to make me sound more like a teen idol than a boring stick-in-the-mud. Somehow, my interests are now skateboarding and helping out at pet adoptions. Who knows where reading and listening to new music went.

Back in the apartment, Mom's beaming at me. "Sweetie, I'm so proud of you," she says, showing me the article about me. "I knew you could do it."

"Did you really." I grab an apple from the fridge. "I thought you moved out here to get remarried."

Mom glares. "Genevieve, I moved out here so you could achieve your dreams. I could care less about getting remarried. One marriage is enough for a lifetime."

For some people, one marriage isn't enough for a lifetime.

"Remember when you loved to sing in the car and you sang to those tapes when you were a kid? I'm just sorry I couldn't provide lessons for you earlier."

You mean Dad couldn't provide lessons for me earlier.

I walk out and find Kendall ready to knock on the door. "Hi," I greet awkwardly.

"Hi," he says, smiling. "Busy?"

"Just leaving. What's up?"

He grabs my arm and pulls me outside. I slam the door shut. "Is it really that urgent?" I ask as he drags me down the hallway. We step into a broom closet. "What's going on? And what is your problem?"

Kendall bites his lip. "Look. I heard the Jennifers talking, and they aren't happy." He takes in a deep breath. "They want to kick you out. For good."

I furrow my brow. "Why? I didn't do anything."

"...Something about going against the rules. Taking it too far."

"What rules?"

Kendall shrugs. "I don't know. That's all I heard. I thought it would be important to tell you."

I feel my face getting hot. "What...what do I do? I can't go to the Palm Woods school if I don't have a career in Hollywood, and I know my mom will want to move back to Washington if she finds out if I get kicked out-" I feel the tears slip down my eyes, and Kendall wipes them, frowning.

"Hey, hey. Calm down." Kendall pulls me into a tight hug. "We'll figure this out together, okay? Don't worry so much about it."

I open the door to the broom closet and sprint into the elevator, Kendall chasing and yelling at me to come back. When I get to the lobby, I see the Jennifers sitting at a table. I stomp towards them. Blonde Jennifer opens her mouth with a smug look on her face. "Don't bother saying anything to me, because you know what? I quit. I hate you. And your clothes. And your stupid rules," I grumble.

I turn around and march out of the Palm Woods to take a long, long walk.

Around ten at night, I find my way back to the Palm Woods and take the elevator up to the apartment. Everything's packed up ready to go. Mom is nowhere to be found. I look into my room, and everything's gone-every poster, every picture, every shirt I own is gone.

I saunter down to the pool and see Kendall sitting on a chair, frowning as he stares off into space. I sit down next to him. "Hey," he says, facing me. "What's wrong?" he asks quietly.

I bury my face in my hands. Kendall rubs my back, silent. "Everything's gone," I say quietly. "Everything. My clothes, my old notebooks, my posters..."

"It'll be like a clean slate. You can start over," he replies, the blue hue of the pool reflecting across his face.

"Don't you get it? I don't [i]want[/i] to start over!" I stand up. He steps towards me, but I push him away. "I just want to be me! [b]I just want to be Genevieve Caulfield![/b]"

Kendall stares at me. We're silent for a while.

"You don't have to be anything you don't want to be," he says, holding out a hand. "You can be whoever you want. But you have to ask yourself the question: Who is Genevieve Caulfield?"

Genevieve Caulfield doesn't exist.


	8. Fitzwilliam

Kendall sits me down on the piano bench and puts an arm around my shoulders. "Gen, let me go talk to Gustavo and get this all sorted out. Don't worry."

I nod.

When Kendall shuts the door, I can't think of anything else but their conversation outside the door. Why would Gustavo even want me here? Managing four teenage boys is already a big problem; why would he want to add a problematic girl to his list?

I reach for the latest issue of _Pop Tiger_ and find my scandal on the cover. "THE JENNIFERS BACK TO THREE!" They marked a huge "x" over my face. I flip through the pages.

_"...It's unfortunate that we lost a member. Gen was really a great girl and had lots of talent; we wish her luck on her other pursuits."_

It sounds almost like a eulogy, like leaving the Jennifers is social suicide.

I throw the magazine onto the floor.

The door swings open, and Gustavo bursts in with Kendall by his elbow. He has a worried look on his face. "You!" Gustavo shouts. "Come here!"

I raise my eyebrows. "Me?"

"Yes, you! There's no one else in this room!"

I stand up, embarrassed, and shuffle towards him as he looks me up and down. He takes in a deep breath. "Kendall, I didn't need for you to talk to me. After I saw the cover of [i]Pop Tiger[/i], I thought it would be a great idea to create a new band. All my idea, of course."

Kendall makes a face. "Liar," he mouths, pointing fingers at him. Gustavo looks over his shoulder, and Kendall grins, hands to his side.

"Let's go meet your new band."

We step into a spacious recording booth and find three people. Kandi, the female rapper from the Palm Woods, sits in front of the drum set, Guitar Dude strums his guitar absent-mindedly, and a guy with a crew-cut and bright blue eyes plucks at a bass. "Kandi, I thought you came here to rap?" I ask, shocked.

She shrugs her shoulders. "America's ready for Ke$ha and her faux ghetto language, but they're just not ready for Kandi."

We laugh, and Gustavo clears his throat. "I'll leave you all to get acquainted."

We talk and learn about each other's expectations, ideas, and aspirations. Will, the bassist, smiles and turns to me. "Are you just a singer, or are you going to play an instrument too?"

"I'll play guitar if need be, but I'm horrible at it." Will pats my back as we all walk out of the recording booth. "I guess I was just too much of a wimp to deal with the pain of guitar strings."

"There's no shame in that."

I shrug. "So are you staying at the Palm Woods too?"

"Yeah. Do you want to walk back together?"

Kendall's leaning against the wall and immediately stands up right when we enter the hallway. "Ready to go? My mom's waiting in the rental."

I look at Will. "Maybe I'll just see you at the pool sometime."

"...Maybe."

We exchange goodbyes, and Kendall and I climb into the red Ford. "Getting close to your band mates?" he asks, pursing his lips.

"Yeah."

"Getting close to Will, huh."

"What's wrong with that?" I narrow my eyes.

"Nothing. Just...never mind."

We're quiet the rest of the way to the hotel, even though Mrs. Knight attempts to spark a conversation between us. We instead answer with grunts or nods and look out the window, watching Hollywood pass us by.

We stare at our feet as we say goodnight, and I head immediately to the pool. I see Will staring into the pool, waving his feet around. The ripples undulate towards me as I look at his aquamarine face. "Hey," I say, trying to smile.

"Hey." He pats the concrete next to him. "Take a seat."

I sit next to him, slip off my flip-flops, and dip my feet into the pool.

"So...Gen, huh?" he starts.

"Yeah. Short for Genevieve."

"Very pretty." He grins. "It suits you."

I laugh. "Thanks. So...Will."

"Short of Fitzwilliam. Mom was in love with _Pride and Prejudice_." He looks up at the light-bleached sky. "Not really the coolest name to hear during role call."

"You were named after one of the most memorable male characters of all time," I reply.

"What's so great about him? I never understood it. He was a complete douchebag in the beginning, and then he seemed to get better by the end of the book. So what? Anyone can pretend."

"But he cared so much about Elizabeth that he defied all the rules of his society in order to be with this woman. He also continued to pursue her after she rejected his marriage proposal."

"He was a selfish jerk throughout the whole book. How does everyone not see that?"

"They're blinded by Mr. Darcy's love for Elizabeth."

He smirks. "You're in love with Darcy too, aren't you?"

I blush. "He's not real."

"Tomb Raider isn't real, but lots of guys have gigantic crushes on Laura Croft." He sighs. "Fine. I'll admit I had a crush on Hermione Granger from [i]Harry Potter[/i]."

"Fine, I had a crush on Darcy. But that doesn't mean I have a crush on you." Fitzwilliam and his perfect teeth, square jaw, dark hair...

I furrow my brow.

"Let's just enjoy the clear sky and comfortable company we have." We create invisible patterns in the pool with our legs and watch the water drift away from us and crash gently.

This new connection makes me feel light-headed and confused; too many things are happening at once. Jealousy, friendship, happiness, aggression...Los Angeles seems like more trouble than it's worth. I miss the simplicity of having friends who care and support me instead of having friends who fight to win something more than just a friendship.

This is not what I need right now.


	9. stick around

Kandi and I sit on the lawn chairs, flipping through teen magazines. "I'm sick of this Bieber kid," she says, making a face. "Ugh, look at him with that smug smile."

I furrow my brow and peer over her shoulder. "He's just smiling. It doesn't look smug at all."

She nods. "Oh, it's smug. It's a smug smile."

"Hey, ladies!" Logan greets, sitting next to Kandi. "This seat taken?" He pulls off his shades and winks.

Kandi laughs. "Trying to pull a James?"

He shakes his head. "I don't know what you're talking about." He puts his sunglasses back on and tries to scoot his chair closer to Kandi, until someone grabs the collar of his royal blue polo. Camille yanks Logan to his feet.

"What exactly do you think you're doing?" she asks, yanking the shades off his face.

Logan fumbles with his words, looking around for help.

Camille glares at Kandi. "I'm watching you." She drags Logan away to the other side of the pool where Jo is sunbathing.

"That boy is very weird. And very pale," Kandi says, going back to her magazine. "There's more hype over the Jennifers." She sticks her tongue out. "And there's two sentences about us."

"...Us?"

She points to a little box with a picture of Guitar Dude, Will, her, and me. "Speaking of us, you and little Fitzwilliam. What's going on there?"

Will is sitting near the pool, playing an imaginary piano. He's surrounded by girls. In fact, there's one under his arm.

"Oh, gotcha." Kandi crinkles her nose. "So he's one of those."

"...One of what?"

"A flirt. A tease. Boy can't be tied down." She shakes her head. "I expected more from a bassist, but when you know you're hot, you usually end up a dick wad." She examines her nails and picks at the chipped lime green polish. "He better not cramp our style."

"What decade are you from?"

"I'm a nineties baby. Don't hate on my language." She stands up. "Let's go do something fun."

"Like what?"

Kendall and James block our exit. "Hey, where are you two going?" James asks, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "We just got here." A girl with curly brown hair struts by, winking at James. He grins. "And now I'm over there." He catches up with the girl and wraps an arm around her.

We shake our heads.

"How's the new band?" Kendall asks, stepping towards me. "And, uh...Will?"

I point at Will and his mob of fan girls. "Look for yourself."

Kendall raises his eyebrows. "I thought he was into you."

I shrug my shoulders. "I need to work on this whole band thing before I can start dating anyone." Kandi smirks, and I punch her in the arm. "You have to sort yourself out before you can get into any sort of relationship."

Kendall nods. "I guess you're right."

Kandi points at Camille, who keeps dragging Logan back into the chair next to her. "So, what's her problem? Are they dating or something?"

Kendall and I look at each other.

"...Well? Anybody got an answer for me, or do I have to ask pretty boy myself?" We look down at our feet, and Kandi sighs. "I'll see you guys later; I have to repaint my nails and stuff." She walks into the lobby.

"So, busy tonight?" Kendall asks, running his fingers through his hair.

"I don't think so."

"Why don't we have a little party at our place? You know, to celebrate the good news."

I smile. "That's really sweet of you, but you don't have to."

"We never get to see you anymore."

"Okay, then can Kandi come too?"

Kendall grins. "Bring whoever you want."

When Kandi and I arrive at the apartment, it's pretty barren; Katie invites us inside to the mood lighting and soft dance music. We exchange weird looks as we try to find the guys through all the streamers, but Katie holds us back. "Wait here, eager beavers," she says.

The guys burst through the front door, food in hand. Kandi smiles. "Fashionably late to your own party?"

"You know it." Kendall turns up the stereo and grabs my hand. "Ready to dance?" I laugh as he spins me around. "You're really happy," he says, grinning.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

Kendall shrugs, holding my hands. "I dunno; I wouldn't want you to be bummed about that Will guy. You can do better than that."

I shake my head. "I'm not bummed; I never was."

"Even better." He brushes my hair out of my eyes. I never knew his eyes were so green. "So, congrats to the whole band thing."

"Thanks."

Kandi jabs me in the side and gives me a wink as Logan hands her a cup of punch. They waltz away a lot faster than the beat of the music. Kendall wraps his arms around my waist. "So, will I be seeing you more often?"

"I've got a band to work on."

He nods, pursing his lips. "Yeah."

We silently move back and forth to the rhythm of the music, holding each other closely and not wanting to let go.


End file.
